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Sunday, December 7, 2014

你被自己的舒適區給困住了嗎?

在《跳出舒適區,年薪自己訂》這本書中提到了所謂的「舒適區」這件事
所謂的舒適區就是令人安心又舒適的區域,它會根據恆定性來自我調節而維持現狀
所以舒適區就是自己覺得最舒服的狀態,同時也是恆定功能所維持的現狀。
因此,癮君子的安逸區就是吸菸;不想讀書的孩子,安逸區就是不讀書;胖子的安逸區就是肥胖。
這同時也代表著信念會限制我們的表現。只要我們不改變安逸區,就不可能擺脫這種限制。
因為我們的思緒會在無意識中只接受自己想看的、想聽的、想體驗的東西,所以大多時候,我們很難逃脫自己心中的「舒適區」,無法擺脫刻板印象、思考模式以及下意識行為,亦即,我們很容易耽溺在「習慣」中
此外,他人的意見會融入到我們的信念中,這也會決定了我們的舒適區,而大多數人都會接受「夢想殺手」的意見而排除了自我意志,導致在他人影響下過著不完全的人生。
結果,我們不是因為自己沒有能力而無法成長、成功,卻是因為旁人的評價、說法、意見,而在不知不覺中扼殺了我們的未來。
關於這一點,我在即將前往的韓國行中深有體會

記得去年跟朋友提起今年想去韓國首爾自由行時
她的第一個反應就是——我對那個國家沒興趣,因為聽公司去過的同事說韓國沒什麼好玩的,就是吃東西跟買東西
聽說?可是,朋友並沒有去過韓國不是嗎?只是聽一小撮人的意見就能決定她對那個國家的印象嗎?
我去過韓國兩次,但,什麼「就是吃東西跟買東西」的印象卻從來不曾出現在我的韓國行中
在我的韓國回憶裡,只有景福宮、木芽佛教博物館、傳統韓食、韓服體驗、做泡菜體驗、泡湯、滑雪以及漫步在渺無人煙的田埂中,仰首讚嘆那自空中輕飄而下的純白雪花
即便是身處同一個國度,只要看的「眼睛」不同,能夠看到的事物、獲得的體驗就不同
朋友的同事可能較為關注流行資訊,所以注意到的、看到的都是飲食衣著
但我因為對這些的興趣不大,所以注意到的、看到的都是我喜歡的傳統文物
由我們所關注的不同焦點,就可以看出我們都受到了自我舒適區的影響——在無意識中只接受自己想看的、想聽的、想體驗的東西
而朋友的同事更是成了從來沒有去過韓國的朋友的夢想殺手,因為她對朋友說了:「韓國沒什麼好玩的,就是吃東西買東西。」而朋友也接受了她這樣的評價、意見
因此造成朋友對韓國的觀光有了刻板印象,也造成了她對韓國旅遊的裹足不前
至於我,雖然沒有受到朋友同事的評價影響,但卻也曾差點被困在自己的舒適區中
因為,除了日本外,這是我第一次去其他國家自助旅行
而且這56年來,我幾乎都只跑日本,除了是因為語言能通外,之前在那兒讀書時所累積出來的地緣,也讓我對去日本自助行感到非常的安心
可是這次我要去的地方是陌生的韓國,雖說之前去過兩次,但兩次都是跟團,不用自己找景點、自己找飯店,再加上語言又不通,因此著實曾讓我不安了好一陣子
我甚至曾「自暴自棄」的想著,乾脆再滾回日本賞櫻算了
可是轉念一想,我總不能一輩子都只跑日本吧?
而且之前一些完全不懂韓文的朋友也「平安」的從韓國自由行回來了,既然現在的韓國又有日文跟中文的標示,那我還擔心什麼呢?
如果我總是因為習慣、因為害怕改變就滯留原地,那麼我是不是將失去許多接觸、體驗這個世界的機會?
也許,真正令人感到不安的,不是未知的世界、未知的未來,而是我們固著、僵化的心
如果心靈不改變,那麼我們就只能每天複製過去的意見與想法,活在由過去的經驗所建構起來的世界中
所以,唯有看清自己的舒適區,並從中跳出,我們才能真正活出自我、活得精彩

 

Two opposing internal personalities – Is it good verses evil? Dominion over the other?

Have you seen the old Superman movie with Christopher Reeve?  Maybe not if  you’re not over 40. There’s a part in one of the movies where superman is separated into two beings the “good” part and the “evil” part.  The two fight it out where ultimately good triumphs over evil exterminating the evil one  completely.
Do you ever feel that there is a “bad”, “evil” or “shameful” part with in you that is controlling your life that you would either like to exterminate or have control over?
What if these parts of ourselves that we have labeled as bad, evil or shameful really had positive intentions for us?  They try to control your life so that it is predictable and manageable, they try to protect you and ensures your survival.  Perhaps these parts haven’t been doing such great job and they haven’t been producing the results you would like in a healthy way.
So what have you done with these less than desirable parts or personalities/personas in your life?  Have you tried to ignore them?  Shut them up by locking them away in a closet?  Attempt to only focus on “positive” thinking?  What if these parts were merely screaming to be heard?  What if they were trying to get your attention and tell you that they are just trying to meet an unmet need?  What if they’re really not all that scary and you’re not so shameful or “bad”.  Your parts do not define who you are.  Once you listen, like an out of control child throwing a temper tantrum, the energy is diffused and they calm down.  How well does it go when you try to convince the child instead that you are in charge and they must listen to you and do as they are told?  They will only try to scream and take control of your life as long as you are unwilling to listen.
So how about taking a deep breath and open the door to one of those closets and say to that part inside of you,  “I am here.  I see you.  I am willing to listen to what you have to say.  I do not judge you.  I love you. I want to understand you.  What is the message?  How can I serve you?  What is it that you need?”
I’ve been reading the book,  “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers”  by Debbie Ford.  She brings light to the ugly dark side of ourselves.  At the end of the 3rd chapter I did the exercise outlined in the book.
This is my story of opening one of those closet doors.
There’s a persona inside of me that wishes not to be seen.  She is the archetype of the prostitute.  When I say prostitute, I am not referring solely to being sexually compromising  but rather the consciousness of the prostitute as a whole.  She is of the mind that sells her birthright  for a pot of pottage.  The analogy comes from the Bible where Esau sold Jacob his birthright for pottage of lentils with bread.
I had a look at the prostitute within me.  Now I have never had sex outside of my marriage so what I came to see was through the lens of her which has nothing to do with reality.
The prostitute is kept locked away in a dumpster like discarded dirty trash where no one can see of her filth.  She is disgusting, a shameful disgrace.  She’s been ignored, pushed away as though she doesn’t exist.  Yet there she lies – naked in a heap of trash of people’s waste, rotten food, rodents and insects.  It smells, she stinks.  She is repulsive.  She’s been thrown away by men who have used her up, stole her virtue and stole her light.  Her body is emaciated, her skin is pale and lusterless.  She can feel and smell the semen that runs down her legs.  She doesn’t even care to wipe it off.  She is cold.  Even her hair has been cut and robbed from her.
She’s been mauled, molested  and mocked.  Her body is hardly desirable but it is easy.  Her breasts are empty bags of skin that have fed her children for over 9 years but the men do not see that.  They do not see her at all.  She is an object of their desires. She is not even a person to them.  She no longer pretends to have affection for them so they will be gentler with her.  She no longer gives them the satisfaction of the illusion that they are receiving any kind of approval.  She is their cocaine fix until they need their next high.  Each time a piece of her life energy is sucked away.  She sells herself for nuggets of attention.  They need her, yet despise her.  They throw her out but keep her close by.
She is void of feeling.  She is numb.  She is too tired to feel, too tired to say no when no one listens, too tired to walk away, too tired to fight, too tired to hear the shaming for not complying.   No one sees her.  No one will come to her rescue.  She is alone.
She is hungry but has made herself content with eating the garbage there.  She is too tired to get up and find herself food.  She is too embarrassed to be seen in public.  She’d rather lie there and cease to exist.  She doesn’t want to pretend she’s strong anymore.  She doesn’t want to pretend she’s happy and has it all together.  She doesn’t want to pretend she can do it all on her own anymore.  She doesn’t know how to live any other way than the way she’s known since her youth.
There’s another persona inside of her that’s been hidden and locked away as well.  She is savvy, sassy, and spunky.  Her sexuality is her power, her source of creativity.  She radiates the divine feminine power.  It is her vitality – her Shakti.  She can wield, create and manifest with this powerful source of energy and only desires to bless the world with it.  She is a powerful influence for good.  She is an inspiration to others.  She is highly respected as her self dignity commands it.  She is secure in who she is.  She is grounded in her self-worth.  No one dares to defile her.  The men in her life bend over backwards for her just to receive a smile or word of approval.  They are happy to support her and assist her.  They are willing to labor in the fields with her for the fruits of the harvest are nourishing and fulfilling.
She wears a black dress that reaches her ankles.  It is form fitting up top and free flowing below the waistline.  The bottom half of the dress has beautiful embroidered flowers of vibrant colors. She wears a short opened front teal sweater over her shoulders.  Her hair is red and wild like Meredith from the movie “Brave”.  Her body moves with ease and confidence as she speaks with eloquence and passion.  Her countenance is lustrous and radiant.  You can almost see streamers of beautiful pastel colors of energy moving in and through and out her body like an angel using them to create miracles in the world and in people’s lives.
Yet this savvy, sassy and spunky persona – this vibrant Shatki stays hidden for she was shamed very young for being too much energy, talking too much and was taught what to think and do as she was told.
Miss Vibrant went to visit prostitute.  The two of them resented each other yet they were unwilling to admit they needed each other.  Vibrant resented prostitute as being beneath her and not worth her time.  She had things to do, places to go, creations to create and she was slowing and dragging her down.  She was restless with many things to do and so little time.  She wanted to lock her up and throw her away and be done with her.  She saw her as shameful and embarrassing.  She wanted nothing to do with her.
Prostitute looked at her with loathing.  “Who does she think she is anyway?  She thinks she’s so special with her head all high and mighty in the sky like she knows everything.  She acts like she’s the most important person in the world and totally self-absorbed and selfish.  All she cares about is herself.  Look at her, how she uses people to do things for her.”  She sees her as the bitch that men despise, the nag, the control freak, the master manipulator.  The selfish woman who has no concern for people like her.  She should be serving not leading.  Men are leaders not women, she is totally usurping men’s authority.  She should mind her place and work hard to survive like herself.  It’s not fair she gets all the breaks in life.
Miss Vibrant approached prostitute in the dumpster.  Prostitute wanted nothing to do with her.  She didn’t want to be touched but yet wanted to be free of there.  Vibrant took her to some warm tropical pool of water beneath a gentle magical healing waterfall.  Prostitute felt a profound sense of relief.  She didn’t want vibrant to be near her but allowed her to take watch over her as she knew she would dismember any man that would attempt to come near her.  This made her feel safe and secure.  She sat and bathed beneath the warm nourishing waterfall.  As the water washed down her head and body she felt a wash of sadness come over her.  She wanted to cry, she’d been trying to be strong for so long but didn’t even have the energy left to cry.  So she knelt beneath the water that washed over her beginning to feel some of the sadness that she hadn’t been willing to feel for a long time and there she stayed.
Vibrant wanted to go over there and help her through the process more quickly but prostitute didn’t want her close nor her help.  Prostitute wanted desperately to feel the warmth and tenderness of her love but didn’t trust that she didn’t have some sort of hidden personal agenda so vibrant sat on a rock and laid watch becoming impatient.  Vibrant twirled her thumbs wondering how long this was going to last.  She had things to do, places to go, creations to create, money to be made to pay the bills, her children to tend to, gardens to care for, a divorce to work through.  Yet prostitute is so tired she feels like she really just wants to stay there where she is nourished and safe and take a very long nap.   For now, they lay wait.   For now, it is OK.

As time passed the persona called Prostitute continued to enjoy her rest and her nourishing shower while she felt safe to release some of her sadness.  From time to time she would observe  the persona called Miss Vibrant on the rock as she took watch over her.  Why is she doing this for me, she wondered.  Doesn’t she have better things to do than waste her time on a lowly person as such as I, she thought.  She wondered why she loathed her so much.  Where did that come from?  She saw her mother in her.  She saw her father in her.  She saw every person that ever tried to control her or tell her what to think or what to do or how to be.  She didn’t trust Vibrant to have her best interest at heart.  She believed there must be some kind of personal agenda – that she must need her for her own selfish interests.  Yet she hadn’t told her what to do, she respected her space, she guarded her and protected her staying by her side.  She brought her to these healing waters. She brought her nourishing, live fruits and vegetables that her physical body was craving.
She was jealous of her.  Deep down she admired her; wanted to be like her but dared not admit it.  She wondered what made her so special, why Miss Vibrant got to be born with all these desirable qualities and she didn’t.  It wasn’t fair she got to have all these fabulous experiences in life while she lived her life in the filth of the dumpster.  Prostitute started to think that perhaps the universe was out to conspire against her.  Maybe she was being punished for not being enough, for not being better at giving these men what they needed.  She ran this loop through her mind continually that if she had only been kinder to these men, offered more of what they were looking for, gave them more of the love and approval they were yearning for then maybe she would start being treated with respect and greater kindness.  Maybe if she were just a better prostitute and gave them a better show or better service.  Maybe if she had stroked their egos better by telling them how wonderful they were, making them happy.  Maybe if ……  she could then finally prove her value by being enough she would no longer be punished and then finally find the love and approval she was craving.
Or maybe there is something broken inside of her.  She started to think that maybe something is wrong with her that maybe something is malfunctioning inside of her. Maybe if she could figure out what that something is she could fix it. Maybe if she could just find the right tool or the right technique to correct the error….  There must be something out there that can fix this defective part of her and then she’d be all better again.
Prostitute continued to take in the restoring nature of the waterfall.  The falls had always been here.  Why was she not aware of them before?  She never would have thought herself worthy of such a special treat. It was too luxurious for someone like her.  She looked up at Miss Vibrant again.  She didn’t seem to be such a horrible person anymore.  She still didn’t understand why should would take the time to be with someone like her.
She admired her and then remembered that she was apart of herself.  She was the part within her that she had disowned and sent away.  She had lost connection with her.  Then like a stroke of lightening she became aware that there was nothing broken or defective inside of her that needed fixing or correcting.  That pain inside of her was the empty longing for a missing part of herself and there she was looking up at her admiringly.  All along, she had everything she ever needed.  All along she was whole and complete but chose to separate herself from herself and from the healing waters of Divine love – her connection to the Source of life – with God.
This new awareness became very unsettling to her.  She began to feel another wave of sadness come over her.  If this were true  – that she was indeed whole and complete and worthy of love than her living in the dumpster was largely one of choice.  She would have to admit that she chose to be the victim. That she had bought into a lie.  She chose to sell her birthright for a pot of pottage buying into the enticings of the bearer that it would suffice her longing for love and peace. She chose to punish herself for imagined insufficiencies. She was the one who denied herself the nourishing waters. How many years had she given up on her life?  How many years wasted?  She felt so much grief and disappointment come over her.  No wonder Vibrant despised her.  Prostitute had betrayed her and chose to disgrace her own part of herself.  This disappointment welled up inside bursting out like a volatile geyser.
Her tears flooded down her face mixing in with the water that ran down her head. She saw the darkness the tears added to the pool of water running down stream as she began to feel some of the darkness and sorrow leave her body.

Miss Vibrant began to have compassion for her weakness.  She had judged her harshly for being so weak.  She saw this as cowardice and shameful.  She was angry at her for giving up so easily for not putting up a fight, for hiding and avoiding.  She noticed how prostitute put so much energy into rationalizing and stuffing away her anger and resentment instead of doing something about it.  She noticed how her “no” was weak, how it had no bones or action or conviction behind it.  It’s like she was asking to be mistreated so she could wallow in her own self-pity and beat her self up.  then she would go look for approval from outside sources.  So much wasted and misdirected energy, it’s now wonder she is so tired.   In actuality, she had tremendous strength, she had just turned it against herself.
What do I do with her now?, she wondered.  Should she leave her?  She doesn’t seem to want her help.   She turned towards her and spoke to her.  Softly she just said, “I’m sorry”.   She paused.  Then she said,  “I see you’ve been in pain a very long time.  I see the wear on your body and spirit ….   I hear your cries of sorrow, your self-judgment and disappointment …  I feel your grief ….   Please forgive me.”   She waited.  Prostitute looked up at her but said nothing.  Vibrant put her feet in the pool of water and very slowly began to approach her.  Prostitute walked out from under the falls running towards Vibrant where the two embraced each other lovingly.   Neither saying a word they shed tears of great joy.  Prostitute basked in the warmth of the her love feeling safe and protected like she could finally take a deep breath and let go.  She could finally let go of needing to defend herself.  She was relieved and at peace.  She had come home to the missing part of herself once long gone.  She could now finally put the bags (the heavy emotions) down she’d been carrying around and rest.  She felt light and free.
Vibrant placed her hands on prostitutes cheeks and kissed her on the forehead.  I love you, she said.   “I will always be here for you no matter what, I will never leave you, ….  I will protect you, …  You are precious, …  You are sacred, … there is nothing those men can give you that you don’t already have, …  I have gift for you.”   She handed her a sparkly crystal and held it in her hands.  “This is for you whenever you need me,  to remember who we are together.”   They held hands and the two merged into one again with the crystal binding their two hearts together.  Together they walked out of the pool, her dress half wet.  The warmth of the sun quickly dried it out.
This new woman walked back over to the dumpster where she had once lived.  She took a fire bomb and exuberantly threw it into the dumpster lighting its contents on fire.  She watched the contents turn into flames incinerating all the pain, the sorrow, releasing them into expansiveness into the open sky.  It is done.  It is free.  She then took cans of spray paint of vibrant colors and like a little girl coloring, she painted pictures of butterflies, hearts, and white doves.  She was very delightful and giggling as she painted.  She then painted the words: LOVE, PEACE, JOY, POWER, FREEDOM on the sides of the dumpster.  She then threw the cans in the dumpster hearing them rattle in the emptiness inside.  Exhilarated she walked away taller, happier and more confident.

日本“銷售之神”原一平:人生最大的功課是了解和改造自己


前些天閱讀到日本“銷售之神”原一平的故事,很是令我感動,我從他身上看到了自己的不足。在現代商業社會,原一平是成功的榜樣,也是自我管理的榜樣。離開良好的自我管理,我們不可能成功,也不可能幸福。

號稱日本“銷售之神”的原一平,直到27歲才進入保險業。那是1930年3月27日,原一平在經歷了一次又一次的事業挫敗之後,揣著自己的簡歷,走入了明治保險公司的招聘現場。一位剛從美國研習推銷術歸來的資深專家擔任主考官,他瞟了一眼這個身高只有145厘米、體重50公斤的“家夥”,目無表情地拋出一句硬邦邦的話:“你不能勝任保險工作。”原一平問:“何以見得?”主考官輕蔑地說:“每人每月要完成 10000元,你覺得自己能行麽?”原一平不服輸的勁兒上來了,他大聲地告訴主考官:“我一定能完成每月10000元的業績。” 此後,原一平勉強地成為一名“見習推銷員”。沒有辦公桌,沒有薪水,還經常被老推銷員當“聽差”使喚。
在最初推銷的頭7個月,原一平沒有拉到一分錢保險,當然也拿不到一分錢薪水。他的生活充滿了淒風苦雨,不得不借債度日。他窮得連午餐都吃不起,甚至沒錢坐公共汽車。在欠了7個月的房租之後,他的家什被房東像扔垃圾一樣丟在了門前的馬路上。為了節約開支,他每日兩餐,晚上就睡在公園的長凳上。有時,他也會自我解嘲:“雖然今天很淒慘,不過公園也蠻不錯的,又安靜,又清涼。”但更多的時候,他會鼓勵自己:“只要你的精神還站立著,就沒有什麽能讓你倒下!”
當原一平終於變得終日焦躁不安的時候,一天,他遇到了一位老和尚,看到他氣定神閑的樣子,原一平禁不住上前討教,結果猶如醍醐灌頂。老和尚和氣細語地告訴他:“人與人之間,像這樣相對而坐的時候,一定要具備一種強烈的吸引對方的魅力,如果你做不到這一點,也就沒有什麽前途可言了。”
原一平被這句話震得啞口無言,冷汗直流。
老和尚又說:“一個人之所以難成大器,最主要的原因就在於不能超越自己。”
原一平認真地聽著。
“年輕人,先努力改造自己吧!”老和尚語重心長的說。
“改造自己?”原一平有點是懂非懂。
“是的,要改造自己,首先必須認識自己。你知不知道自己是一個什麽樣的人呢?”
老和尚又接著說:“你在替別人考慮保險之前,必須先考慮自己,認識自己。”
“考慮自己?認識自己?”
“是的!你要毫無保留地徹底反省,才能真正認識自己,改造自己!”
老和尚的一席話,使原一平如同迷航的舵手看到了導航的燈塔。思想的頓悟引導了行動的改變。原一平主動邀請幾位同事為自己開起“批判會”,借助同事們的眼睛,他看到了原形畢露的自己:
——個性急躁,沈不住氣;
——脾氣太壞,而且粗心大意;
——太固執,常自以為是;
——常識不夠豐富,要加強進修,因為你面對的是各色各樣的人,所以必須有豐富的常識,以便成為別人的“生活指導者”;
——好高騖遠,忽略眼前;
……
認識到自己的種種毛病之後,羞愧難當的原一平痛下決心要一個個改掉,因為他知道,一個人取得成功的最大前提,就是及時發現自身的短處,並有效地剔除它。他時常想著老和尚的告誡:惟有堅忍不拔的克己修身功夫,才能鑄造一個人的人格;而一個人如果不能成功,很大程度上是因為未能通過這一段人格成長的考驗!
每天清晨5點,原一平從公園的長椅上“起床”後徒步上班。一路上他精神抖擻,絲毫沒有睡眠不足的倦態。有時候還吹吹口哨,熱情地和路人打打招呼。
有一天,一個常去公園散步的大老板看到原一平身處這樣的窘境還能笑傲生活,便好奇地與他攀談起來。在聽了原一平的故事後,這位大老板被他的樂觀感染了,離開時他愉快地買了一份保單。這是原一平從事推銷以來的第一筆業務。
後來原一平才知道,這位大老板不但是一家大酒店的老板,而且還是三業聯合商會的理事長。幾天後,他又給原一平介紹了許多商界的朋友。原一平憑借自己的微笑和平和的心態感染了越來越多的人,業務也做得越來越大。
1936年,原一平的業績遙遙領先公司其他同事,成為全公司之冠,並且奪取了全日本的第二名。
36歲時,原一平成為美國百萬圓桌協會成員,協助設立全日本壽險推銷員協會,並擔任會長至1967年。
因對日本壽險的卓越貢獻,原一平榮獲日本政府最高殊榮獎,並且成為MDRT的終身會員。

每天進步一點點

原一平50年的推銷生涯,可以說是一連串的成功與挫折所構成的。他用自己的一生,實踐了這樣的人生信念:
“我不服輸,永遠不服輸!”
“原一平是舉世無雙,獨一無二的!”
後來被譽為“推售教父”的原一平,不僅以自身的勤奮實踐,給日本保險業和企業界了探索並總結出一整套的銷售理論和實踐技巧,更以卓越的自我管理和改造的功夫,為所有人提供了一個自我修身的榜樣。
在自我改造和修身方面,原一平的信念就是:“每天進步一點點。”他相信,一個人如果能夠做到每天進步1%,一年下來的成果就大得驚人!
原一平認為:“人一旦來到這個世界,就得對自己負責,每天努力地修行駛。如何使今天的我比咋天的我更進步,更充實,這是自己人生的責任中最緊的。”
為此,他曾連續舉辦6年(一年12次,一共72次)的“原一平批評會”,以征求同事、家人和朋友們對於自己的批評和意見。每一次批評會開下來,他都會大汗淋漓地經歷一次靈魂的蛻變。這種蠶蛻般的生命凈化與成長是痛苦的,也是快速有效的。
後來,原一平發現單憑每月的批評會已經無法滿足自己對於了解和改造自我的需要,他渴望更具體、更深入、更廣泛的批評。
有一天,原一平靈機一動,決定花錢請征信所的人調查自己的缺點。他請了幾個朋友和客戶幫忙,借用他們的名義,雇用征信所的人來調查原一平。
調查項目包括:
一、對原一平的評價:這裏面有好的評論,也有壞的評語,把這些好壞評語集合起來,再作綜合總結。
二、原一平的信用:配合對原一平的評語,加上信用的高低,即可整理出原一產的“市場評價”。
三、對人壽保險的觀感:既然要評估從事壽險業的原一產,那麽對圍繞在原一平四周的社會環境非徹底了解不可。所以,投保人對人壽保險的整體看法,他們有什麽想法和意見,如何看壽險業務員,都是調查的重點。
四、明治保險公司的聲譽:還是圍繞原一平的社會環境進行調查。明治保險公司的地位如何!別人對它的評價如何呢?“
征信所的調查資料中,有責罵,有贊美。原一平要的是如何改進,只有責罵和批評才會督促他更上一層樓。
就是在這種嚴酷的自我要求和改造的進程中,原一平“每天進步一點點”,不斷地豐滿自己的人格、能力和智慧。慢慢的,責罵和批評他的意見已漸漸減少,最後幾乎都沒有了。當然,原來一無所有的窮小子原一平,也成了億萬富豪,成為世人尊敬的成功榜樣和幸福楷模。

我們惟一能改變的就是自己
後來,原一平如是總結自己的成功經驗:
我改變不了事實,  但我可以改變態度;
   我改變不了過去,  但我可以改變現在;
   我不能控制別人,  但我可以掌握自己;
   我不能左右天氣,  但我可以改變心情;
   我不能改變容貌,  但我可以展現笑容;
   我不能控制別人,  但我可以掌握自己;
   我不能預知明天,  但我可以利用今天;
   我不能樣樣勝利,  但我可以事事盡力。
   我不可能延伸生命的長度,  但我可以決定生命的寬度;
   我無法保證每戰必勝,  但我必須做到全力以赴、堅持到底!

苫米地英人


  1959年出生於東京。腦功能學家、計算與言學家、分析哲學家、實業家。
  畢業於上智大學外文學院英語系。在三菱地所工作兩年之後,成為傅爾布萊特(fulbright)留學生,至耶魯大學研究所留學。之後又前往在電腦科學領域中被譽為世界頂峰的卡內基美隆學研究所。取得計算語言學博士學(日本第一人)。
  回到日本之後,擔任德島大學助教授、Just System基礎研究所所長、通商產業省資訊處理振興評議會專任委員等職。同時也是中國南開大學客座教授、全日本氣功師協會榮譽會長。
  目前擔任Dr. 苫米地Works有限公司代表,認知研究室有限公司CEO,角川春樹事務所顧問,美國公益基金會The Better World Foundation日本代表,World Foundation日本代表,美國教育機構TPI International日本代表,天台宗夏威夷分院國際部長。
==================================
  第一印象得滿分的技術一共分為三個步驟:
  步驟一、放鬆自己,你可以藉由呼吸放鬆
  步驟二、提升好感度,使他跟你同頻率
  步驟三、讓他對你的第一印象就給滿分

我常常說要把視點向上提升、從較高的次元來看事物,不要受限於三度空間的價值觀,只要能夠站在四度空間或五度空間來思考事情,自然可以開闊視野,進而發現解決方法,煩惱就會消除。
  就拿現實世界來說,多數人都苦於經濟的景氣循環,許多人都只看得到眼前的東西,也就是一大群人爭食眼前一塊名叫金錢的大餅。這是個人類的欲望赤裸裸混亂交纏、多種自我矛盾爭鬥的低次元世界。但是,正因為是這樣的時代,才更需要提升看世界的觀點。
  只要換個想法,情況就能改變。如果你認為「即使自己不在了,這世界仍會持續運作」──這是在時間上提升視野,是四度空間世界的思考方式。只要從這種方向去思考,就能夠捨棄「只顧眼前就好」的想法,知道大餅要留給下一世代,讓大家一起分享,對世界的影響力量才會變大、後世的人便會記得自己,這就等於延續了自己的生命力。甚至你還可以有餘暇去思考、開發新的替代物質,來取代目前世人爭搶的大餅。
  更進一步的五度空間世界,則是一個超越時空,時間和空間都無限寬廣、非常抽象的世界。那裡沒有煩惱存在,是一個幼吾幼以及人之幼的世界,更可以說是愛宇宙一切眾生,甚至連即將來臨的生命也深愛的世界,這會使我們立刻聯想到佛教高僧、德蕾莎修女、甘地這樣的人。這種人的共同特質是:他們擁有莫大的引力,我們在一見面的當下就會想親近,接著便是信服他,乃至於追隨他。(不過,某些邪教與犯罪組織的首腦也有這種特質,這種吸引力有正向、也有負向。)


=======================================
這種生活方式無法達成理想的人生。因為你只在意「過去的自我所重視的資訊」,所以也只能前往「從過去延伸出的未來」。
  關鍵的重點是:「大多數人都失去了自由意志,而在他人影響之下過著不完全的人生。你不是因為自己的意識而無法成長成功,是因為你身邊的人對你的評價,在不知不覺中扼殺了你的未來。」
  只要你符合以下任一項目
  這本書你就一定要讀
  □有想要實現的「目標」
  □希望自己成長並接近「理想中的自己」
  □雖然有想做的事,但卻因為「周遭的反對」而無法去做
  □在「面試」或「考試」時,因為太過緊張,因而連最簡單的問題都答不出來
  □不滿足於現在的「工作」及「收入」
  □為「人際關係」、「家庭關係」、男女關係」、「朋友關係」而苦惱著
  □對自己沒有「自信」

名人论静坐

名人论静坐

乔布斯   如果你坐下来静静观察,你会发现自己的心灵有多焦躁。如果你想平静下来,那情况只会更糟,但是时间久了之后总会平静下来,心里就会有空间让你聆听更加微妙的东西——这时候你的直觉就开始发展,你看事情会更加透彻,也更能感受现实的环境。你的心灵逐渐平静下来,你的视界会极大地延伸。你能看到之前看不到的东西。这是一种修行,你必须不断练习。    
 ——沃尔特·艾萨克森《史蒂夫·乔布斯传》

江泽民  我在大炼钢铁时,胃出血,练习打坐,3个月就好了,不得了,可以入静啊。
    ————廖海青 《江泽民的退休生活》(《老年世界》2011年第七期

郭沫若   每天清晨起来静坐30分钟,每晚临睡时也静坐30分钟……不及两个礼拜工夫,我的睡眠时间延长了,梦也减少了,心悸也渐渐平复了。这是在我身体上显著的功效。而在我的精神上更使我彻悟了一个奇异的世界……
静坐于修养上是真有功效,我很赞成朋友们静坐。我们以静坐为手段,不以静坐为目的,是与进取主义不相违背的。
                                    ————郭沫若《王阳明礼赞》

钱穆   初如浓云密蔽天日,后觉云渐淡渐薄。又似轻风微吹,云在移动中,忽露天日。所谓前念已去,后念未来,瞬息间云开日朗,满心一片大光明呈现。纵不片刻,此景即逝,然即此片刻,全身得大解放,快乐无比。
                                         —— 钱穆《师友杂忆》
梁启超  初学多属伏案之时,遇事盖少,但能每日静坐一二小时,求其放心,常使清明在躬,志气如神,梦剧不乱,宠辱不惊,他日一切成就,皆基于此,毋曰迂远云也                ——梁启超《万木草堂小学学记》
一敛其心,收视返听,万念不起,使清明在躬,志气如神;一纵其心,遍观天地之大,万物之理,或虚构一他日办事艰难险阻,万死一生之境,日日思之,操之极熟,亦可助阅历之事。此是学者他日受用处,勿以其迂阔而置之也。                                   ——梁启超《湖南时务学堂》
苏东坡  已饥方食,未饱先止;散步道遥,务令腹空;当腹空时,即便入室;不拘昼夜,坐卧自便;惟在摄身,使如木偶。……又用佛语,及老聃语,视鼻端白,数出入息,绵绵若存,用之不勤。数至数百,此心寂然,此身兀然(兀音屋),与虚空等,不烦禁制,白然不动;数至数千,或不能效,则有一法,其名曰随,与息俱出,复与俱入;或觉此息,从毛窍中,八万四千,云蒸雾散。无始以来,诸病自除,诸障渐灭,自然明悟:譬如盲人,忽然有眼,此时何用求人指路,是故老人言尽于此。”   
——苏东坡《东坡志林卷一·养生说》

王阳明  教人为学,不可执一偏,初学时心猿意马,拴缚不定,其所思虑多是人欲一边,姑教之静坐、息思虑。久之,俟其心意稍定,只悬空守静如槁木死灰,亦无用,须教他省察克治。  ——王阳明《传习录·陆澄录》

白居易  中宵入定跏趺坐,女唤妻呼多不应。          
——白居易《在家出家》

李白  宴坐寂不动,大千入毫发,湛然冥真心,旷劫断出没。              
———李白《庐山东林寺夜怀》

陆游  心如潭水静无风,一坐数千息。夜半忽惊奇事,看鲸波日。
———陆游 《好事近·挥袖别人间》    

朱熹   人若于日间闲言语省得一两句,闲人客省见得一两人也,济事若浑身都在闹场中,如何读得书?人若逐日无事,有见成饭吃,用半日静坐,半日读书。如此一二年,何患不进。
——黎靖德《朱子语类·郭德元告行》
昔陈烈先生若无记性。一学日读孟子问之道。无他,求放其心而已矣。忽悟曰:我心不曾收得,如何记得书?遂闭门静坐。不读书百余日,以收放心。后去读书,遂一览无遗。                                                                                                                     
———《朱子语类辑略》卷二
彭祖   行气之法,处于密室,瞑目,闭息,置鸿毛于口鼻之上,使之不动可也。于是耳无闻,目无视,心无思,以渐除之而已。夜或有悸,则存日月如于明堂,而百邪自去矣。                                                                                                                                                    
————孙思邈《备急千金要方》

颜回   堕肢体,黜聪明,离形去智,同于大通,是谓坐忘。    
————庄子《庄子·大宗师》
 孔子  若一志;无听之以耳,而听之以心;无听之以心,而听之以气;听止于耳,心止于符。气也者,虚而待物者也,唯道集虚,虚者心斋也。”                                               
——庄周《庄子·人世间》

     司马承祯  坐忘者,长生之基也。    ——司马承祯《道枢·坐忘篇》

刘宗周  人生终日扰扰,一着归根复命处,乃在向晦时。即天地万物,不外此理。于此可悟学问宗,只是主静也。此处工夫,最难下手,姑为学者设方便法,且敎之静坐。日用之间,除应事接物外,苟有余刻,且静坐。
                                 ——刘宗周《刘蕺山集·静坐说》

附:修习过静坐的名人们:
中国:老子、庄子、列子、孔子、孟子、墨子、华佗、孙思邈、李时珍、李白、王维、张志和、贺知章、孟浩然、柳宗元、王勃、骆宾王、刘禹锡、白居易、武则天、陆游、苏东坡、欧阳修、朱熹、程颢、王阳明、曾国藩、康有为、梁启超、郭沫若、李叔同、毛泽东、蒋介石、蒋维乔、王永庆、李连杰、潘美辰
外国:甘地(印度民族解放的领导人)、希拉里(美国国务卿)、戈尔(美国前副总统)、比尔·福特(福特汽车公司董事长)、乔布斯(苹果集团创始人)、西乡隆盛(日本明治维新领导人)、稻盛和夫(著名企业家、一生创立两家世界500强企业)、原一平(日本保险界的推销之神)、杰克逊(NBA湖人队前教练)