Time

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Two opposing internal personalities – Is it good verses evil? Dominion over the other?

Have you seen the old Superman movie with Christopher Reeve?  Maybe not if  you’re not over 40. There’s a part in one of the movies where superman is separated into two beings the “good” part and the “evil” part.  The two fight it out where ultimately good triumphs over evil exterminating the evil one  completely.
Do you ever feel that there is a “bad”, “evil” or “shameful” part with in you that is controlling your life that you would either like to exterminate or have control over?
What if these parts of ourselves that we have labeled as bad, evil or shameful really had positive intentions for us?  They try to control your life so that it is predictable and manageable, they try to protect you and ensures your survival.  Perhaps these parts haven’t been doing such great job and they haven’t been producing the results you would like in a healthy way.
So what have you done with these less than desirable parts or personalities/personas in your life?  Have you tried to ignore them?  Shut them up by locking them away in a closet?  Attempt to only focus on “positive” thinking?  What if these parts were merely screaming to be heard?  What if they were trying to get your attention and tell you that they are just trying to meet an unmet need?  What if they’re really not all that scary and you’re not so shameful or “bad”.  Your parts do not define who you are.  Once you listen, like an out of control child throwing a temper tantrum, the energy is diffused and they calm down.  How well does it go when you try to convince the child instead that you are in charge and they must listen to you and do as they are told?  They will only try to scream and take control of your life as long as you are unwilling to listen.
So how about taking a deep breath and open the door to one of those closets and say to that part inside of you,  “I am here.  I see you.  I am willing to listen to what you have to say.  I do not judge you.  I love you. I want to understand you.  What is the message?  How can I serve you?  What is it that you need?”
I’ve been reading the book,  “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers”  by Debbie Ford.  She brings light to the ugly dark side of ourselves.  At the end of the 3rd chapter I did the exercise outlined in the book.
This is my story of opening one of those closet doors.
There’s a persona inside of me that wishes not to be seen.  She is the archetype of the prostitute.  When I say prostitute, I am not referring solely to being sexually compromising  but rather the consciousness of the prostitute as a whole.  She is of the mind that sells her birthright  for a pot of pottage.  The analogy comes from the Bible where Esau sold Jacob his birthright for pottage of lentils with bread.
I had a look at the prostitute within me.  Now I have never had sex outside of my marriage so what I came to see was through the lens of her which has nothing to do with reality.
The prostitute is kept locked away in a dumpster like discarded dirty trash where no one can see of her filth.  She is disgusting, a shameful disgrace.  She’s been ignored, pushed away as though she doesn’t exist.  Yet there she lies – naked in a heap of trash of people’s waste, rotten food, rodents and insects.  It smells, she stinks.  She is repulsive.  She’s been thrown away by men who have used her up, stole her virtue and stole her light.  Her body is emaciated, her skin is pale and lusterless.  She can feel and smell the semen that runs down her legs.  She doesn’t even care to wipe it off.  She is cold.  Even her hair has been cut and robbed from her.
She’s been mauled, molested  and mocked.  Her body is hardly desirable but it is easy.  Her breasts are empty bags of skin that have fed her children for over 9 years but the men do not see that.  They do not see her at all.  She is an object of their desires. She is not even a person to them.  She no longer pretends to have affection for them so they will be gentler with her.  She no longer gives them the satisfaction of the illusion that they are receiving any kind of approval.  She is their cocaine fix until they need their next high.  Each time a piece of her life energy is sucked away.  She sells herself for nuggets of attention.  They need her, yet despise her.  They throw her out but keep her close by.
She is void of feeling.  She is numb.  She is too tired to feel, too tired to say no when no one listens, too tired to walk away, too tired to fight, too tired to hear the shaming for not complying.   No one sees her.  No one will come to her rescue.  She is alone.
She is hungry but has made herself content with eating the garbage there.  She is too tired to get up and find herself food.  She is too embarrassed to be seen in public.  She’d rather lie there and cease to exist.  She doesn’t want to pretend she’s strong anymore.  She doesn’t want to pretend she’s happy and has it all together.  She doesn’t want to pretend she can do it all on her own anymore.  She doesn’t know how to live any other way than the way she’s known since her youth.
There’s another persona inside of her that’s been hidden and locked away as well.  She is savvy, sassy, and spunky.  Her sexuality is her power, her source of creativity.  She radiates the divine feminine power.  It is her vitality – her Shakti.  She can wield, create and manifest with this powerful source of energy and only desires to bless the world with it.  She is a powerful influence for good.  She is an inspiration to others.  She is highly respected as her self dignity commands it.  She is secure in who she is.  She is grounded in her self-worth.  No one dares to defile her.  The men in her life bend over backwards for her just to receive a smile or word of approval.  They are happy to support her and assist her.  They are willing to labor in the fields with her for the fruits of the harvest are nourishing and fulfilling.
She wears a black dress that reaches her ankles.  It is form fitting up top and free flowing below the waistline.  The bottom half of the dress has beautiful embroidered flowers of vibrant colors. She wears a short opened front teal sweater over her shoulders.  Her hair is red and wild like Meredith from the movie “Brave”.  Her body moves with ease and confidence as she speaks with eloquence and passion.  Her countenance is lustrous and radiant.  You can almost see streamers of beautiful pastel colors of energy moving in and through and out her body like an angel using them to create miracles in the world and in people’s lives.
Yet this savvy, sassy and spunky persona – this vibrant Shatki stays hidden for she was shamed very young for being too much energy, talking too much and was taught what to think and do as she was told.
Miss Vibrant went to visit prostitute.  The two of them resented each other yet they were unwilling to admit they needed each other.  Vibrant resented prostitute as being beneath her and not worth her time.  She had things to do, places to go, creations to create and she was slowing and dragging her down.  She was restless with many things to do and so little time.  She wanted to lock her up and throw her away and be done with her.  She saw her as shameful and embarrassing.  She wanted nothing to do with her.
Prostitute looked at her with loathing.  “Who does she think she is anyway?  She thinks she’s so special with her head all high and mighty in the sky like she knows everything.  She acts like she’s the most important person in the world and totally self-absorbed and selfish.  All she cares about is herself.  Look at her, how she uses people to do things for her.”  She sees her as the bitch that men despise, the nag, the control freak, the master manipulator.  The selfish woman who has no concern for people like her.  She should be serving not leading.  Men are leaders not women, she is totally usurping men’s authority.  She should mind her place and work hard to survive like herself.  It’s not fair she gets all the breaks in life.
Miss Vibrant approached prostitute in the dumpster.  Prostitute wanted nothing to do with her.  She didn’t want to be touched but yet wanted to be free of there.  Vibrant took her to some warm tropical pool of water beneath a gentle magical healing waterfall.  Prostitute felt a profound sense of relief.  She didn’t want vibrant to be near her but allowed her to take watch over her as she knew she would dismember any man that would attempt to come near her.  This made her feel safe and secure.  She sat and bathed beneath the warm nourishing waterfall.  As the water washed down her head and body she felt a wash of sadness come over her.  She wanted to cry, she’d been trying to be strong for so long but didn’t even have the energy left to cry.  So she knelt beneath the water that washed over her beginning to feel some of the sadness that she hadn’t been willing to feel for a long time and there she stayed.
Vibrant wanted to go over there and help her through the process more quickly but prostitute didn’t want her close nor her help.  Prostitute wanted desperately to feel the warmth and tenderness of her love but didn’t trust that she didn’t have some sort of hidden personal agenda so vibrant sat on a rock and laid watch becoming impatient.  Vibrant twirled her thumbs wondering how long this was going to last.  She had things to do, places to go, creations to create, money to be made to pay the bills, her children to tend to, gardens to care for, a divorce to work through.  Yet prostitute is so tired she feels like she really just wants to stay there where she is nourished and safe and take a very long nap.   For now, they lay wait.   For now, it is OK.

As time passed the persona called Prostitute continued to enjoy her rest and her nourishing shower while she felt safe to release some of her sadness.  From time to time she would observe  the persona called Miss Vibrant on the rock as she took watch over her.  Why is she doing this for me, she wondered.  Doesn’t she have better things to do than waste her time on a lowly person as such as I, she thought.  She wondered why she loathed her so much.  Where did that come from?  She saw her mother in her.  She saw her father in her.  She saw every person that ever tried to control her or tell her what to think or what to do or how to be.  She didn’t trust Vibrant to have her best interest at heart.  She believed there must be some kind of personal agenda – that she must need her for her own selfish interests.  Yet she hadn’t told her what to do, she respected her space, she guarded her and protected her staying by her side.  She brought her to these healing waters. She brought her nourishing, live fruits and vegetables that her physical body was craving.
She was jealous of her.  Deep down she admired her; wanted to be like her but dared not admit it.  She wondered what made her so special, why Miss Vibrant got to be born with all these desirable qualities and she didn’t.  It wasn’t fair she got to have all these fabulous experiences in life while she lived her life in the filth of the dumpster.  Prostitute started to think that perhaps the universe was out to conspire against her.  Maybe she was being punished for not being enough, for not being better at giving these men what they needed.  She ran this loop through her mind continually that if she had only been kinder to these men, offered more of what they were looking for, gave them more of the love and approval they were yearning for then maybe she would start being treated with respect and greater kindness.  Maybe if she were just a better prostitute and gave them a better show or better service.  Maybe if she had stroked their egos better by telling them how wonderful they were, making them happy.  Maybe if ……  she could then finally prove her value by being enough she would no longer be punished and then finally find the love and approval she was craving.
Or maybe there is something broken inside of her.  She started to think that maybe something is wrong with her that maybe something is malfunctioning inside of her. Maybe if she could figure out what that something is she could fix it. Maybe if she could just find the right tool or the right technique to correct the error….  There must be something out there that can fix this defective part of her and then she’d be all better again.
Prostitute continued to take in the restoring nature of the waterfall.  The falls had always been here.  Why was she not aware of them before?  She never would have thought herself worthy of such a special treat. It was too luxurious for someone like her.  She looked up at Miss Vibrant again.  She didn’t seem to be such a horrible person anymore.  She still didn’t understand why should would take the time to be with someone like her.
She admired her and then remembered that she was apart of herself.  She was the part within her that she had disowned and sent away.  She had lost connection with her.  Then like a stroke of lightening she became aware that there was nothing broken or defective inside of her that needed fixing or correcting.  That pain inside of her was the empty longing for a missing part of herself and there she was looking up at her admiringly.  All along, she had everything she ever needed.  All along she was whole and complete but chose to separate herself from herself and from the healing waters of Divine love – her connection to the Source of life – with God.
This new awareness became very unsettling to her.  She began to feel another wave of sadness come over her.  If this were true  – that she was indeed whole and complete and worthy of love than her living in the dumpster was largely one of choice.  She would have to admit that she chose to be the victim. That she had bought into a lie.  She chose to sell her birthright for a pot of pottage buying into the enticings of the bearer that it would suffice her longing for love and peace. She chose to punish herself for imagined insufficiencies. She was the one who denied herself the nourishing waters. How many years had she given up on her life?  How many years wasted?  She felt so much grief and disappointment come over her.  No wonder Vibrant despised her.  Prostitute had betrayed her and chose to disgrace her own part of herself.  This disappointment welled up inside bursting out like a volatile geyser.
Her tears flooded down her face mixing in with the water that ran down her head. She saw the darkness the tears added to the pool of water running down stream as she began to feel some of the darkness and sorrow leave her body.

Miss Vibrant began to have compassion for her weakness.  She had judged her harshly for being so weak.  She saw this as cowardice and shameful.  She was angry at her for giving up so easily for not putting up a fight, for hiding and avoiding.  She noticed how prostitute put so much energy into rationalizing and stuffing away her anger and resentment instead of doing something about it.  She noticed how her “no” was weak, how it had no bones or action or conviction behind it.  It’s like she was asking to be mistreated so she could wallow in her own self-pity and beat her self up.  then she would go look for approval from outside sources.  So much wasted and misdirected energy, it’s now wonder she is so tired.   In actuality, she had tremendous strength, she had just turned it against herself.
What do I do with her now?, she wondered.  Should she leave her?  She doesn’t seem to want her help.   She turned towards her and spoke to her.  Softly she just said, “I’m sorry”.   She paused.  Then she said,  “I see you’ve been in pain a very long time.  I see the wear on your body and spirit ….   I hear your cries of sorrow, your self-judgment and disappointment …  I feel your grief ….   Please forgive me.”   She waited.  Prostitute looked up at her but said nothing.  Vibrant put her feet in the pool of water and very slowly began to approach her.  Prostitute walked out from under the falls running towards Vibrant where the two embraced each other lovingly.   Neither saying a word they shed tears of great joy.  Prostitute basked in the warmth of the her love feeling safe and protected like she could finally take a deep breath and let go.  She could finally let go of needing to defend herself.  She was relieved and at peace.  She had come home to the missing part of herself once long gone.  She could now finally put the bags (the heavy emotions) down she’d been carrying around and rest.  She felt light and free.
Vibrant placed her hands on prostitutes cheeks and kissed her on the forehead.  I love you, she said.   “I will always be here for you no matter what, I will never leave you, ….  I will protect you, …  You are precious, …  You are sacred, … there is nothing those men can give you that you don’t already have, …  I have gift for you.”   She handed her a sparkly crystal and held it in her hands.  “This is for you whenever you need me,  to remember who we are together.”   They held hands and the two merged into one again with the crystal binding their two hearts together.  Together they walked out of the pool, her dress half wet.  The warmth of the sun quickly dried it out.
This new woman walked back over to the dumpster where she had once lived.  She took a fire bomb and exuberantly threw it into the dumpster lighting its contents on fire.  She watched the contents turn into flames incinerating all the pain, the sorrow, releasing them into expansiveness into the open sky.  It is done.  It is free.  She then took cans of spray paint of vibrant colors and like a little girl coloring, she painted pictures of butterflies, hearts, and white doves.  She was very delightful and giggling as she painted.  She then painted the words: LOVE, PEACE, JOY, POWER, FREEDOM on the sides of the dumpster.  She then threw the cans in the dumpster hearing them rattle in the emptiness inside.  Exhilarated she walked away taller, happier and more confident.

日本“銷售之神”原一平:人生最大的功課是了解和改造自己


前些天閱讀到日本“銷售之神”原一平的故事,很是令我感動,我從他身上看到了自己的不足。在現代商業社會,原一平是成功的榜樣,也是自我管理的榜樣。離開良好的自我管理,我們不可能成功,也不可能幸福。

號稱日本“銷售之神”的原一平,直到27歲才進入保險業。那是1930年3月27日,原一平在經歷了一次又一次的事業挫敗之後,揣著自己的簡歷,走入了明治保險公司的招聘現場。一位剛從美國研習推銷術歸來的資深專家擔任主考官,他瞟了一眼這個身高只有145厘米、體重50公斤的“家夥”,目無表情地拋出一句硬邦邦的話:“你不能勝任保險工作。”原一平問:“何以見得?”主考官輕蔑地說:“每人每月要完成 10000元,你覺得自己能行麽?”原一平不服輸的勁兒上來了,他大聲地告訴主考官:“我一定能完成每月10000元的業績。” 此後,原一平勉強地成為一名“見習推銷員”。沒有辦公桌,沒有薪水,還經常被老推銷員當“聽差”使喚。
在最初推銷的頭7個月,原一平沒有拉到一分錢保險,當然也拿不到一分錢薪水。他的生活充滿了淒風苦雨,不得不借債度日。他窮得連午餐都吃不起,甚至沒錢坐公共汽車。在欠了7個月的房租之後,他的家什被房東像扔垃圾一樣丟在了門前的馬路上。為了節約開支,他每日兩餐,晚上就睡在公園的長凳上。有時,他也會自我解嘲:“雖然今天很淒慘,不過公園也蠻不錯的,又安靜,又清涼。”但更多的時候,他會鼓勵自己:“只要你的精神還站立著,就沒有什麽能讓你倒下!”
當原一平終於變得終日焦躁不安的時候,一天,他遇到了一位老和尚,看到他氣定神閑的樣子,原一平禁不住上前討教,結果猶如醍醐灌頂。老和尚和氣細語地告訴他:“人與人之間,像這樣相對而坐的時候,一定要具備一種強烈的吸引對方的魅力,如果你做不到這一點,也就沒有什麽前途可言了。”
原一平被這句話震得啞口無言,冷汗直流。
老和尚又說:“一個人之所以難成大器,最主要的原因就在於不能超越自己。”
原一平認真地聽著。
“年輕人,先努力改造自己吧!”老和尚語重心長的說。
“改造自己?”原一平有點是懂非懂。
“是的,要改造自己,首先必須認識自己。你知不知道自己是一個什麽樣的人呢?”
老和尚又接著說:“你在替別人考慮保險之前,必須先考慮自己,認識自己。”
“考慮自己?認識自己?”
“是的!你要毫無保留地徹底反省,才能真正認識自己,改造自己!”
老和尚的一席話,使原一平如同迷航的舵手看到了導航的燈塔。思想的頓悟引導了行動的改變。原一平主動邀請幾位同事為自己開起“批判會”,借助同事們的眼睛,他看到了原形畢露的自己:
——個性急躁,沈不住氣;
——脾氣太壞,而且粗心大意;
——太固執,常自以為是;
——常識不夠豐富,要加強進修,因為你面對的是各色各樣的人,所以必須有豐富的常識,以便成為別人的“生活指導者”;
——好高騖遠,忽略眼前;
……
認識到自己的種種毛病之後,羞愧難當的原一平痛下決心要一個個改掉,因為他知道,一個人取得成功的最大前提,就是及時發現自身的短處,並有效地剔除它。他時常想著老和尚的告誡:惟有堅忍不拔的克己修身功夫,才能鑄造一個人的人格;而一個人如果不能成功,很大程度上是因為未能通過這一段人格成長的考驗!
每天清晨5點,原一平從公園的長椅上“起床”後徒步上班。一路上他精神抖擻,絲毫沒有睡眠不足的倦態。有時候還吹吹口哨,熱情地和路人打打招呼。
有一天,一個常去公園散步的大老板看到原一平身處這樣的窘境還能笑傲生活,便好奇地與他攀談起來。在聽了原一平的故事後,這位大老板被他的樂觀感染了,離開時他愉快地買了一份保單。這是原一平從事推銷以來的第一筆業務。
後來原一平才知道,這位大老板不但是一家大酒店的老板,而且還是三業聯合商會的理事長。幾天後,他又給原一平介紹了許多商界的朋友。原一平憑借自己的微笑和平和的心態感染了越來越多的人,業務也做得越來越大。
1936年,原一平的業績遙遙領先公司其他同事,成為全公司之冠,並且奪取了全日本的第二名。
36歲時,原一平成為美國百萬圓桌協會成員,協助設立全日本壽險推銷員協會,並擔任會長至1967年。
因對日本壽險的卓越貢獻,原一平榮獲日本政府最高殊榮獎,並且成為MDRT的終身會員。

每天進步一點點

原一平50年的推銷生涯,可以說是一連串的成功與挫折所構成的。他用自己的一生,實踐了這樣的人生信念:
“我不服輸,永遠不服輸!”
“原一平是舉世無雙,獨一無二的!”
後來被譽為“推售教父”的原一平,不僅以自身的勤奮實踐,給日本保險業和企業界了探索並總結出一整套的銷售理論和實踐技巧,更以卓越的自我管理和改造的功夫,為所有人提供了一個自我修身的榜樣。
在自我改造和修身方面,原一平的信念就是:“每天進步一點點。”他相信,一個人如果能夠做到每天進步1%,一年下來的成果就大得驚人!
原一平認為:“人一旦來到這個世界,就得對自己負責,每天努力地修行駛。如何使今天的我比咋天的我更進步,更充實,這是自己人生的責任中最緊的。”
為此,他曾連續舉辦6年(一年12次,一共72次)的“原一平批評會”,以征求同事、家人和朋友們對於自己的批評和意見。每一次批評會開下來,他都會大汗淋漓地經歷一次靈魂的蛻變。這種蠶蛻般的生命凈化與成長是痛苦的,也是快速有效的。
後來,原一平發現單憑每月的批評會已經無法滿足自己對於了解和改造自我的需要,他渴望更具體、更深入、更廣泛的批評。
有一天,原一平靈機一動,決定花錢請征信所的人調查自己的缺點。他請了幾個朋友和客戶幫忙,借用他們的名義,雇用征信所的人來調查原一平。
調查項目包括:
一、對原一平的評價:這裏面有好的評論,也有壞的評語,把這些好壞評語集合起來,再作綜合總結。
二、原一平的信用:配合對原一平的評語,加上信用的高低,即可整理出原一產的“市場評價”。
三、對人壽保險的觀感:既然要評估從事壽險業的原一產,那麽對圍繞在原一平四周的社會環境非徹底了解不可。所以,投保人對人壽保險的整體看法,他們有什麽想法和意見,如何看壽險業務員,都是調查的重點。
四、明治保險公司的聲譽:還是圍繞原一平的社會環境進行調查。明治保險公司的地位如何!別人對它的評價如何呢?“
征信所的調查資料中,有責罵,有贊美。原一平要的是如何改進,只有責罵和批評才會督促他更上一層樓。
就是在這種嚴酷的自我要求和改造的進程中,原一平“每天進步一點點”,不斷地豐滿自己的人格、能力和智慧。慢慢的,責罵和批評他的意見已漸漸減少,最後幾乎都沒有了。當然,原來一無所有的窮小子原一平,也成了億萬富豪,成為世人尊敬的成功榜樣和幸福楷模。

我們惟一能改變的就是自己
後來,原一平如是總結自己的成功經驗:
我改變不了事實,  但我可以改變態度;
   我改變不了過去,  但我可以改變現在;
   我不能控制別人,  但我可以掌握自己;
   我不能左右天氣,  但我可以改變心情;
   我不能改變容貌,  但我可以展現笑容;
   我不能控制別人,  但我可以掌握自己;
   我不能預知明天,  但我可以利用今天;
   我不能樣樣勝利,  但我可以事事盡力。
   我不可能延伸生命的長度,  但我可以決定生命的寬度;
   我無法保證每戰必勝,  但我必須做到全力以赴、堅持到底!

苫米地英人


  1959年出生於東京。腦功能學家、計算與言學家、分析哲學家、實業家。
  畢業於上智大學外文學院英語系。在三菱地所工作兩年之後,成為傅爾布萊特(fulbright)留學生,至耶魯大學研究所留學。之後又前往在電腦科學領域中被譽為世界頂峰的卡內基美隆學研究所。取得計算語言學博士學(日本第一人)。
  回到日本之後,擔任德島大學助教授、Just System基礎研究所所長、通商產業省資訊處理振興評議會專任委員等職。同時也是中國南開大學客座教授、全日本氣功師協會榮譽會長。
  目前擔任Dr. 苫米地Works有限公司代表,認知研究室有限公司CEO,角川春樹事務所顧問,美國公益基金會The Better World Foundation日本代表,World Foundation日本代表,美國教育機構TPI International日本代表,天台宗夏威夷分院國際部長。
==================================
  第一印象得滿分的技術一共分為三個步驟:
  步驟一、放鬆自己,你可以藉由呼吸放鬆
  步驟二、提升好感度,使他跟你同頻率
  步驟三、讓他對你的第一印象就給滿分

我常常說要把視點向上提升、從較高的次元來看事物,不要受限於三度空間的價值觀,只要能夠站在四度空間或五度空間來思考事情,自然可以開闊視野,進而發現解決方法,煩惱就會消除。
  就拿現實世界來說,多數人都苦於經濟的景氣循環,許多人都只看得到眼前的東西,也就是一大群人爭食眼前一塊名叫金錢的大餅。這是個人類的欲望赤裸裸混亂交纏、多種自我矛盾爭鬥的低次元世界。但是,正因為是這樣的時代,才更需要提升看世界的觀點。
  只要換個想法,情況就能改變。如果你認為「即使自己不在了,這世界仍會持續運作」──這是在時間上提升視野,是四度空間世界的思考方式。只要從這種方向去思考,就能夠捨棄「只顧眼前就好」的想法,知道大餅要留給下一世代,讓大家一起分享,對世界的影響力量才會變大、後世的人便會記得自己,這就等於延續了自己的生命力。甚至你還可以有餘暇去思考、開發新的替代物質,來取代目前世人爭搶的大餅。
  更進一步的五度空間世界,則是一個超越時空,時間和空間都無限寬廣、非常抽象的世界。那裡沒有煩惱存在,是一個幼吾幼以及人之幼的世界,更可以說是愛宇宙一切眾生,甚至連即將來臨的生命也深愛的世界,這會使我們立刻聯想到佛教高僧、德蕾莎修女、甘地這樣的人。這種人的共同特質是:他們擁有莫大的引力,我們在一見面的當下就會想親近,接著便是信服他,乃至於追隨他。(不過,某些邪教與犯罪組織的首腦也有這種特質,這種吸引力有正向、也有負向。)


=======================================
這種生活方式無法達成理想的人生。因為你只在意「過去的自我所重視的資訊」,所以也只能前往「從過去延伸出的未來」。
  關鍵的重點是:「大多數人都失去了自由意志,而在他人影響之下過著不完全的人生。你不是因為自己的意識而無法成長成功,是因為你身邊的人對你的評價,在不知不覺中扼殺了你的未來。」
  只要你符合以下任一項目
  這本書你就一定要讀
  □有想要實現的「目標」
  □希望自己成長並接近「理想中的自己」
  □雖然有想做的事,但卻因為「周遭的反對」而無法去做
  □在「面試」或「考試」時,因為太過緊張,因而連最簡單的問題都答不出來
  □不滿足於現在的「工作」及「收入」
  □為「人際關係」、「家庭關係」、男女關係」、「朋友關係」而苦惱著
  □對自己沒有「自信」

名人论静坐

名人论静坐

乔布斯   如果你坐下来静静观察,你会发现自己的心灵有多焦躁。如果你想平静下来,那情况只会更糟,但是时间久了之后总会平静下来,心里就会有空间让你聆听更加微妙的东西——这时候你的直觉就开始发展,你看事情会更加透彻,也更能感受现实的环境。你的心灵逐渐平静下来,你的视界会极大地延伸。你能看到之前看不到的东西。这是一种修行,你必须不断练习。    
 ——沃尔特·艾萨克森《史蒂夫·乔布斯传》

江泽民  我在大炼钢铁时,胃出血,练习打坐,3个月就好了,不得了,可以入静啊。
    ————廖海青 《江泽民的退休生活》(《老年世界》2011年第七期

郭沫若   每天清晨起来静坐30分钟,每晚临睡时也静坐30分钟……不及两个礼拜工夫,我的睡眠时间延长了,梦也减少了,心悸也渐渐平复了。这是在我身体上显著的功效。而在我的精神上更使我彻悟了一个奇异的世界……
静坐于修养上是真有功效,我很赞成朋友们静坐。我们以静坐为手段,不以静坐为目的,是与进取主义不相违背的。
                                    ————郭沫若《王阳明礼赞》

钱穆   初如浓云密蔽天日,后觉云渐淡渐薄。又似轻风微吹,云在移动中,忽露天日。所谓前念已去,后念未来,瞬息间云开日朗,满心一片大光明呈现。纵不片刻,此景即逝,然即此片刻,全身得大解放,快乐无比。
                                         —— 钱穆《师友杂忆》
梁启超  初学多属伏案之时,遇事盖少,但能每日静坐一二小时,求其放心,常使清明在躬,志气如神,梦剧不乱,宠辱不惊,他日一切成就,皆基于此,毋曰迂远云也                ——梁启超《万木草堂小学学记》
一敛其心,收视返听,万念不起,使清明在躬,志气如神;一纵其心,遍观天地之大,万物之理,或虚构一他日办事艰难险阻,万死一生之境,日日思之,操之极熟,亦可助阅历之事。此是学者他日受用处,勿以其迂阔而置之也。                                   ——梁启超《湖南时务学堂》
苏东坡  已饥方食,未饱先止;散步道遥,务令腹空;当腹空时,即便入室;不拘昼夜,坐卧自便;惟在摄身,使如木偶。……又用佛语,及老聃语,视鼻端白,数出入息,绵绵若存,用之不勤。数至数百,此心寂然,此身兀然(兀音屋),与虚空等,不烦禁制,白然不动;数至数千,或不能效,则有一法,其名曰随,与息俱出,复与俱入;或觉此息,从毛窍中,八万四千,云蒸雾散。无始以来,诸病自除,诸障渐灭,自然明悟:譬如盲人,忽然有眼,此时何用求人指路,是故老人言尽于此。”   
——苏东坡《东坡志林卷一·养生说》

王阳明  教人为学,不可执一偏,初学时心猿意马,拴缚不定,其所思虑多是人欲一边,姑教之静坐、息思虑。久之,俟其心意稍定,只悬空守静如槁木死灰,亦无用,须教他省察克治。  ——王阳明《传习录·陆澄录》

白居易  中宵入定跏趺坐,女唤妻呼多不应。          
——白居易《在家出家》

李白  宴坐寂不动,大千入毫发,湛然冥真心,旷劫断出没。              
———李白《庐山东林寺夜怀》

陆游  心如潭水静无风,一坐数千息。夜半忽惊奇事,看鲸波日。
———陆游 《好事近·挥袖别人间》    

朱熹   人若于日间闲言语省得一两句,闲人客省见得一两人也,济事若浑身都在闹场中,如何读得书?人若逐日无事,有见成饭吃,用半日静坐,半日读书。如此一二年,何患不进。
——黎靖德《朱子语类·郭德元告行》
昔陈烈先生若无记性。一学日读孟子问之道。无他,求放其心而已矣。忽悟曰:我心不曾收得,如何记得书?遂闭门静坐。不读书百余日,以收放心。后去读书,遂一览无遗。                                                                                                                     
———《朱子语类辑略》卷二
彭祖   行气之法,处于密室,瞑目,闭息,置鸿毛于口鼻之上,使之不动可也。于是耳无闻,目无视,心无思,以渐除之而已。夜或有悸,则存日月如于明堂,而百邪自去矣。                                                                                                                                                    
————孙思邈《备急千金要方》

颜回   堕肢体,黜聪明,离形去智,同于大通,是谓坐忘。    
————庄子《庄子·大宗师》
 孔子  若一志;无听之以耳,而听之以心;无听之以心,而听之以气;听止于耳,心止于符。气也者,虚而待物者也,唯道集虚,虚者心斋也。”                                               
——庄周《庄子·人世间》

     司马承祯  坐忘者,长生之基也。    ——司马承祯《道枢·坐忘篇》

刘宗周  人生终日扰扰,一着归根复命处,乃在向晦时。即天地万物,不外此理。于此可悟学问宗,只是主静也。此处工夫,最难下手,姑为学者设方便法,且敎之静坐。日用之间,除应事接物外,苟有余刻,且静坐。
                                 ——刘宗周《刘蕺山集·静坐说》

附:修习过静坐的名人们:
中国:老子、庄子、列子、孔子、孟子、墨子、华佗、孙思邈、李时珍、李白、王维、张志和、贺知章、孟浩然、柳宗元、王勃、骆宾王、刘禹锡、白居易、武则天、陆游、苏东坡、欧阳修、朱熹、程颢、王阳明、曾国藩、康有为、梁启超、郭沫若、李叔同、毛泽东、蒋介石、蒋维乔、王永庆、李连杰、潘美辰
外国:甘地(印度民族解放的领导人)、希拉里(美国国务卿)、戈尔(美国前副总统)、比尔·福特(福特汽车公司董事长)、乔布斯(苹果集团创始人)、西乡隆盛(日本明治维新领导人)、稻盛和夫(著名企业家、一生创立两家世界500强企业)、原一平(日本保险界的推销之神)、杰克逊(NBA湖人队前教练)

乔治·索罗斯如何看待失败

上帝并非一直垂青索罗斯,在1987年索罗斯遭遇了他的"滑铁卢"。

  根据索罗斯金融市场的“盛——衰"理论,繁荣期过后必存在一个衰退期。他通过有关渠道得知,在日本证券市场上,许多日本公司,尤其是银行和保险公司,大量购买其他日本公司的股票。有些公司为了入市炒作股票,一甚至通过发行债券的方式进行融资。日本股票在出售时市盈率已高达48.5倍,而投资者的狂热还在不断地升温。因此,索罗斯认为日本证券市场即将走向崩溃。但索罗斯却比较看好美国证券市场,因为美国证券市场上的股票在出售时的市盈率仅为19.7倍,与日本相比低得多,美国证券市场上的股票价格还处于合理的范围内,即使日本证券市场崩溃,美国证券市场也不会被过多波及。于是,1987年9月,索罗斯把几十亿美元的投资从东京转移到了华尔街。

   然而,首先出现大崩溃的不是日本证券市场,而恰恰是美国的华尔街。1987年10月19日,美国纽约道·琼斯平均指数狂跌508点,创当时历史记录。在接下来的一星期里,纽约股市一路下滑。而日本股市却相对坚挺。索罗斯决定抛售手中所持有的几个大的长期股票份额。其他的交易商捕捉到有关信息后,借机猛向下砸被抛售的股票,使期货的现金折扣降了20%。

   5000个合同的折扣就达2.5亿美元。索罗斯因此而在一天之内损失了2亿多美元。索罗斯在这场华尔街大崩溃中,据报载,损失了大约6.5亿到8亿美元。这场大崩溃使量子基金净资产跌落26.2%,远大于17%的美国股市的跌幅,索罗斯成了这场灾难的最大失败者。

   索罗斯虽然痛恨赔钱,但他却能够忍受痛苦。对于其他人而言,犯错是耻辱的来源;而对于他来说,认识到错误则是一件可以引以自豪的事情。因为在他看来,对于事物的认识缺陷是人类与生俱来的伴侣,他不会因为错误百出而备感伤心丢脸,他随时准备去纠正自己的错误,以免在曾经跌倒过的地方再度绊倒。他在金融市场上从不感情用事,因为他明白理智的投资者应该是心平气和的,不能求全责备。正如他经常所说的:“如果你的表现不尽人意,首先要采取的行动是以退为进,而不要挺而走险。而且当你重新开始时,不妨从小处做起。”当你决策失误,造成巨大损失时,自责是毫无意义的,重要的是勇于承认自己的错误,及时从市场中撤出,尽可能减少损失。只有保存了竞争的实力,你才能够卷土重来。索罗斯具有比别人能更敏锐地意识到错误的才能。当他发现他的预期设想与事件的实际运作有出入时,他不会待在原地坐以待毙,也不会对于那些该死的出入视而不见,他会进行一次歇斯底里的盘查以期发现错误所在。一旦他发现错误,他会修正自己的看法以图东山再起。正是因为索罗斯的这一宝贵品质,他才始终能够在动荡的市场中保存实力。一个投资者之所以被称为“伟大的投资者”,关键不在于他是否永远是市场中的大赢家,而在于他是否有承认失败的勇气,能否从每一次的失败中站起来,并且变得更加强大。索罗斯恰恰具备了作为一个“伟大投资者”的素质。这也就是为什么索罗斯在经历了1987年10月份的惨败之后,却仍能使量子基金1987年的增长率达到14.1%,总额达到18亿美元的原因之一。

   索罗斯不是那种奉传统若神明的人,他有自己独特的一套市场理论。他认为,金融市场动荡无序,股票市场的运作基础不是逻辑,而是心理的。跑赢市场的关键在于如何把握这种群体心理。索罗斯在预测市场走向时,比较善于发现相关市场的相互联系,这使得他能准确地判断一旦某一市场发生波动,其他相关市场将会发生怎样的连锁反应,以便更好地在多个市场同时获利。

   索罗斯在金融市场上能够获得巨额利润除了依赖于他独特的市场理论外,还在于他超人的胆略。因为索罗斯认为一个投资者所能犯的最大错误并不是过于大胆鲁莽,而是过于小心翼翼。虽然有一些投资者也能准确地预期市场走向,但由于他们总是担心一旦行情发生逆转,将遭受损失,所以不敢建立大的头寸。当市场行情一直持续看好,才又后悔自己当初的头寸太少,坐失赚钱良机。索罗斯一旦根据有关信息对市场作出了预测,就对自己的预测非常自信,当他确信他的投资决策无可指责,那么建立再大的头寸都在所不惜。当然要建立巨额的头寸,需要有超人的胆略和勇气,否则,他将无法承受由此带来的巨大压力。

Creating S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely
Specific: A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” questions:
*Who:      Who is involved?
*What:     What do I want to accomplish?
*Where:    Identify a location.
*When:     Establish a time frame.
*Which:    Identify requirements and constraints.
*Why:      Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
EXAMPLE:  A general goal would be, “Get in shape.” But a specific goal would say, “Join a health club and workout 3 days a week.”

Measurable - Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set.
When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.
To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as……
How much? How many?
How will I know when it is accomplished?


Attainable – When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.
You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

Realistic- To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress.
A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labor of love.

Timely – A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it there’s no sense of urgency. If you want to lose 10 lbs, when do you want to lose it by? “Someday” won’t work. But if you anchor it within a timeframe, “by May 1st”, then you’ve set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal.
Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.
T can also stand for Tangible – A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing.
When your goal is tangible you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

好好爱自己

我很平凡,但独一无二

人生只有三天,迷惑的人活在昨天,奢望的人活在明天,只有清澈的人活在今天。昨天已经过去,是过了期的支票,明天还没有来到,是不可提取的支票,只有活在今天是最现实的。

我们的思想总是在过去和未来,但是我们的身体和呼吸却永远是在当下。


中年以后,过一天,少一天;过一天,乐一天;过一天,赚一天。

【不要等到明天】
1.改变一种行为不要拖到明天,否则它会变成你的习惯。
2.拒绝一份诱惑不要拖到明天,否则它会造成你的伤害。
3.抓住一次机会不要拖到明天,否则失去了就不会再来。
4.不要让今天的行动拖到明天,否则它无法带来精彩。
5.不要把今天的幸福拖到明天,否则它将一去不复返。
6.不要把机会拖到明天,因机会是唯一的你还要等到明天吗?


人生,只有今世,没有来世,人生的每一分每一秒都是那么的弥足珍贵。不要以为时间还早,不要以为年纪还小,不要以为生命很长,不要以为过了今天还有明天过了明天还有后天,每个人都不知道死亡和明天哪一个会先来。明日复明日,明日何其多!我生待明日,万事成蹉跎。

我们能做的,必须要做的,就是把握今生,把握今天,并开心快乐的好好活着,甚至连生气的时间,抱怨的心态,都不该有!

人生,只有今生,没有来世。下辈子不过是一个虚无缥缈的梦。

人生,很短暂,只有区区几十年。
  
人生,只有今世,没有来世,人生的每一分每一秒都是那么的弥足珍贵。不要以为时间还早,不要以为年纪还小,不要以为生命很长,不要以为过了今天还有明天过了明天还有后天,每个人都不知道死亡和明天哪一个会先来。明日复明日,明日何其多!我生待明日,万事成蹉跎。我们能做的,必须要做的,就是把握今生,把握今天,并开心快乐的好好活着,甚至连生气的时间,抱怨的心态,都不该有!

人生,只有今世,没有来世,不能活在童话里。转世投胎的神话其实都是骗人的鬼话,是编故事的人一厢情愿的善意的谎言,我们不是神仙妖怪不能死而复生,我们不是九头鸟可以九死九生,我们也不是梁山伯祝英台不可能死后变成翩翩蝴蝶……
  
人生,只有今生,没有来世,别奢望有什么下辈子。生命只有一次,每个生命都是一个奇迹,每个生命都无比珍贵。生命是父母给的,不可以挥霍。生命是祖先的血脉,不可以作贱。好好活好这辈子,最最重要!
  
人生,只有今生,没有来世。没有什么比活着更好,活着是最灿烂的辉煌,因为只有活着才有欢笑,才有幸福,才有灵动,才有感动和辉煌。
  
人生,没有下辈子,当不虚此生!


时间去哪了

等将来……
等不忙……
等下次……
等有时间……
等有条件……
等有钱了……
等来等去 ……
等没了缘分……
等没了青春……
等没了健康……
等没了机会……
等没了选择……
等没了美丽……

谁也无法预知未来,很多事情可能会一等就等成了永远!

想要做的事就赶紧去做,不要给自己留下太多的遗憾!

Total Risk in Dover..... Second Chance.....Grab it
Total Risk in CCS


Socrates:Where are you?

Dan Millman: Here.

Socrates: What time is it?

Dan Millman: Now.

Socrates: What are you?

Dan Millman: This moment.



不要让‘垃圾人’接管自己生活当中的任何一天!

人生短暂,绝对不要浪费心思和精力在这些事上!


对别人生气1分钟,
就失去了自己人生中60秒的快乐。



孝庄对康熙说:“孙儿,大清国最大的危机不是外面的千军万马,最大的危难,在你自己的内心”。

不要在意别人在背后怎么看你说你, 因为这些言语改变不了事实,却可能搅乱你的心。

心如果乱了,一切就都乱了。

人的差别来源于学习,经常抽出时间用来阅读、学习、思考,你会发现,你的人生会发生改变,成功会向你招手。

改变一下自己的态度去适应不同的情况,心情轻松舒畅,不要心郁气结,跟自己过不去。人到老年,什么事都看透了,无论如何自己不要跟自己过不去,一定要善待自己莫烦恼。


脾气越大身体越差,脾气越温福报越深;
声音越大修养越差,声音越柔德行越厚;
性子越急智慧越低,性子越稳智慧越深;


托尔斯泰说:“世界上只有两种人:一种是观望者,一种是行动者。大多数人都想改变这个世界,但没有人想改变自己。

”要改变现状,就得改变自己,要改变自己,就得改变自己的观念。一切成就都是从观念开始的,一连串失败,也都是从错误的观念开始的。

原来,一个人内心怎样看待自己,在外界就能感受到怎样的眼光。

一个从容的人,感受到的多是平和的眼光;
一个自卑的人,感受到的多是歧视的眼光;
一个和善的人,感受到的多是友好的眼光;
一个叛逆的人,感受到的多是挑惕的眼光……
只有你自己,才能决定别人看你的眼光


无论是追求幸福、宁静、安全……都到你内心去寻找吧,那里有无穷无尽的资源和能量。

“亲爱的,外面没有别人,只有你自己”。


嘴巴是别人的,人生才是自己的

太在乎别人评价的人,不会获得快乐,活在别人的是非中,在自寻烦恼。


嘴巴是别人的,人生是自己的,有习惯性被人家嘴巴“虐待”的人,请用左脑右脑想一想:为什么我要当人家嘴巴的奴隶?

世上的很多事都是难以预料的,成功常常伴随着失败,失败往往孕育着成功;好事会变为坏事,坏事也会变为好事。

人的一生,本来就是成败相随,好坏更替的统一体。

换一种心态就能换一种方式生活。一个乐观的人,在生活中,就能够笑看输赢得失,而不只认最终胜负,他们深信未来,也不抱怨现状,能够利用自己的优势,发挥自己的潜能,一步步向上攀登,而走向成功。


善待自己,使自己成为最好的,比善待别人更有意义。我们除了学会律己,宽容别人,成全别人之外,还要学会成全自己,宽容自己,给自己更多的时间和空间,来不断发展和完善自己。


人生四不要
1、不要把烦恼带到床上,因为那是一个睡觉的地方。
2、不要把怨恨带到明天,因为那是一个美好的日子。
3、不要把忧郁传染给别人,因为那是一种不道德的行为。
4、不要把不良的情绪挂在脸上,因为那是一种令人讨厌的表情。从今天开始,每天坚持以上四点。


每晚睡前,原谅所有的人和事。闭上眼睛,清理你的心,过去的就让它过去吧。无论今天发生多么糟糕的事,都不应该感到悲伤。一辈子不长,用心甘情愿的态度,过随遇而安的生活。

学会原谅
人的一生中会遇到不顺心的事,会碰到不顺眼的人,如果你不学会原谅,就会活得很痛苦,活得很累。

原谅自己不能成就伟业,不能出人头地;原谅自己不能才华横溢,没有成为百万富翁;原谅自己,不要紧紧抓住自己的弱点、缺点、过失不放,太苛求自己,只会使自己丧失自信和勇气,使自己失去阳光心态;要放下包袱,给自己解压,相信平淡的生活照样会风光无限,旖旎无限。

当你原谅了一切之后,你会发现:你其实已经上升了一个高度。

只要有人的地方就有是非;只要人家有嘴巴,就会有意见和批评。再者,太在意别人想法的人,不仅不能快乐,也容易失去自己的特色和个性,更没办法发挥自己的潜能。


得与失在我们心中,只有一线之隔,我们意以为得,就是得意;意以为失,就是失意。能够悟透得失的人,才会有快乐的人生。

一份好的心情,不仅仅可以改变自己,同时更会感染他人,如果你想做一个快乐的人,那么,你一定要保持十八岁的心情。


人与人之间的差别示仅在于才华,还在于意志力。一个人笨一点不怕,只要他勤谨,有追求上进的抱负心,成功的果实早晚会被他摘到。龟兔赛跑的故事人皆共知.


「人定胜天」这句成语,很久以来一直被人误用。其实它的本意是:人心安定(安守在自己的本位上)这个力量能改变一切。并不是说人类一定能战胜大自然。定是安定、禅定之意,而不是一定之意。可是很多人没有明白它的意思,误以为人能战胜大自然,而恣意掠夺破坏大自然,误解了古圣先贤真实意。

跟自己说声对不起,因为我让自己不开心。

跟自己说声对不起,因为忘了提醒自己要好好照顾自己。

跟自己说声对不起,因为总是和别人说对不起,而忘了自己。

最后,说完对不起之后,生活还要继续。我只是想让自己开心一点,不要难过。所以,我微笑着原谅了自己。

心态不好,你注定是个弱者!

心态决定人生
一位哲人说过:“你的心态就是你的主人。”在现实生活中,我们不能控制自己的遭遇,却可以控制自己的心态;我们不能改变别人,却可以改变自己。


生气不如争气
人生有顺境也有逆境,不可能处处是逆境;人生有巅峰也有谷底,不可能处处是谷底。因为顺境或巅峰而趾高气扬,因为逆境或低谷而垂头丧气,都是浅薄的人生。面对挫折,如果只是一味地抱怨、生气,那么你注定永远是个弱者。

有自信才能赢
自信是一种力量,更是一种动力。当你不自信的时候,你难于做好事情;当你什么也不做不好时,你就更加不自信。这是一种恶性循环。若想从这种恶性循环中解脱出来,就得与失败作斗争,就得树立牢固的自信心。

心动更要行动
心动不如行动,虽然行动不一定会成功,但不行动则一定不会成功。


别把挫折当失败
每个人的一生,难免都会遭受挫折和失败。所不同的是失败者总是把挫折当失败,从而使每次都能够深深打击他取胜的勇气;成功者则是从不言败,在一次又一次的挫折面前,总是对自己说:“我不是失败了,而是还没有成功。”一个暂时失利的人,如果继续努力,打算赢回来,那么他今天的失利,就不是真正的失败。相反的,如果他失去了再战斗的勇气,那就是真输了。





一份工作,一种专长,一项本业,做得好, 都少不了一样东西:专注力。所谓专注力,就是在工作上,事业上,生意上,能心无旁骛,全身心投入。一件事情,只有全身心投入去做了,才能超越常人,能别人之不能。所谓台上十分钟,台下十年功;别只看到别人抛头露面的风光,也要明白,在台下,另有你不曾看见过的十年孤寂、隐忍、修炼、磨炼,以及坚持。


寿命

1、经常自己找气生的人,即小心眼,如林黛玉,一般活20-50岁;

2、经常受别人气的人,叫佣人,一般活50-60岁;

3、经常自我生气,也常气别人的人,叫俗人,如普通百姓,一般活60-70岁;

4、经常让别人生气,自己却不太生气的人,叫伟人,如毛泽东,一般活80岁左右;

5、不论别人怎么气你也能淡然处之,叫高人,如朱德、邓小平,一般活90岁左右;

6、从不气别人,自己也不生气,叫真人,如孙思邈、张学良,一般能活百岁或以上!


百病皆生于气!
消气法      (分九个层次,逐级提升):
1.倾诉; 

2.回避 ;
3.运动;
4.娱乐;
5.想得开;
6.自己想适合自已的方法;
7.换位思考;
8.放得下;
9.提高境界!

我深信当你把你的内在世界调整得很好的时候,你的外在世界就会自然而然变得很顺利。

你的问题主要在于读书不多而想得太多。


活在当下 ,此话来自禅修。禅师们认为,活在当下就是:该吃饭时吃饭,该睡觉时就睡觉,该高兴时就高兴,也就是说该干什么时就干什么。如果不是这样的话,那可能是活在过去,或活在未来。如,两个仇人相见时,彼此对以往的仇恨现在还耿耿于怀,说明此时的他们不是活在当下,而是活在过去的仇恨中。对于每个人来说,过去是永远的记忆,不管过去多么荣耀或失意,过去的已过去,未来正在当下演变。关于未来,与其忧心忡忡,不如愉快地做好当下种种。活在当下就是一个人的生命力自然呈现。


在这物欲横流的人世间,人生一世实在是够苦。你存心做一个与世无争的老实人吧,人家就利用你欺侮你。

你稍有才德品貌,人家就嫉妒你排挤你。你大度退让,人家就侵犯你损害你。

你要不与人争,就得与世无求,同时还要维持实力准备斗争。你要和别人和平共处,就先得和他们周旋,还得准备随时吃亏。


人,最可怕的是给自己负能量的暗示。为自己画地为牢的人,也许永远走不出来那个圈圈。记着,我们都是这世界上最强的人,别人说你是“坏”人,不要紧,只要我们自己认定还是个“好”人就行。别人觉得你这不行,那不行,只要我们足够信心,知道我一定能做好就行。


说你的人多,帮你的人少

忙了一辈子究竟什么是你的?

一、世界上到底什么是你的,这个问题可能有好多的人想弄清楚?

1、爱人是你的吗?不是。
2、子女是你的吗?不是。
3、金钱是你的吗? 不是。
4、房子和车是你的吗? 不是。


那么究竟什么是你的呢?
你的身体。
只有它才是始终不离不弃的陪伴你的生命,走完人生的全部历程。 只有它才能拼命地呵护、保护你的生命, 直到耗尽它全部的能量为止。如果你的身体健康状况越好, 陪你所走的路程就越远。

没有了身体,你的生命也就终止了。因此, 你要把这唯一属于你的东西“身体”,看做无价之宝,爱护它、 满足它的一切需求。锻炼、营养、作息、防病治病、讲究卫生、 心情舒畅、不受伤害等等一切保护性的措施全部跟上, 一刻也不能松懈。


身体健康,生活才会有质量。
身体健康,生命就会长。
没有了健康的身体,就没有了生命。
有了生命就拥有了一切。
没有了生命,一切就都不是你的了。
所以我们只要活着一天,就是福气,就该珍惜。

没有任何东西比得上健康。保护好自己的身体,珍惜你现在拥有的!

新时代人生新标准:
1、最聪明的人:老玩,老乐,老豁达,老幽默;
2、最呆傻的人:老急,老气,老郁闷,老加班;
3、最健康的人:老走,老动,老锻炼,老拥抱;
4、最快乐的人:老说,老笑,老联系,老给朋友圈发微信!
没有健康一切为零。


如果没有人相信你,那就自己相信自己;

如果没人欣赏你,那就自己欣赏自己;

如果没人祝福你,那就自己祝福自己。
如果别人都不爱你了,你再不好好爱自己,那不是太对不起自己了

无任别人如何看不起你,你都要有自信。 别人如何打击你, 你也要坚强。 活在当下。 ....无论别人如何伤害你,你都要原谅他 。 ....无论你自己有何不完美,你都要原谅自己 。。。我不是完美,但我独一无二。。。。没有人是十全十美。。。。。就祘没人爱你。你也要爱你自己

生活,不会因你抱怨而改变;人生,不会因你惆怅而变化。你怨或不怨,生活一样;你愁或不愁,人生不变。抱怨多了,愁的是自己,惆怅多了,苦的还是自己。你哭,生活不会流泪,你苦,生活不会烦恼。既然如此,何不微笑?既然这样,何必惆怅?

自信是成功的源泉!用心去触摸属于自己的阳光,用爱去创造属于自己的世纪!自己读懂了自己,世界才能读懂你。


亲爱的自己,从今天起,让自己平平淡淡的活着,学着爱自己,你是独一无二的,做个最真实最快乐最阳光的自己。


亲爱的自己,不要太在意一些人,太在乎一些事,顺其自然,用最佳心态面对一切,因为世界就是这样,往往在在乎的事物面前,我们会显得没有价值。

亲爱的自己,永远不要为难自己,比如不睡觉、不吃饭、难过、自责,这些都是傻瓜做的事。


亲爱的自己,相信自己的直觉,不要随随便便招惹别人,也不要让别人随随便便走进你的世界招惹你。

亲爱的自己,全世界就一个独一无二的你,就算没有人懂得欣赏你一定要好好爱自己,放轻松,做最真实的自己。

忘记昨日所有过的烦恼;
今日依然是初升的太阳!


你能够,
忘记你的过去,
看重你的现在,
乐观你的未来时,
你就站在了生活的最高处。


I don’t believe that I am the only person who cannot predict future prices. No one consistently can predict anything, especially investors. Prices, not investors, predict the future
 .




没有一个人,一生没有坎坷;没有一个人,一世没有痛苦。

说你的人多,帮你的人少。


1、相信自己、用微笑迎接生活和工作中的各种考验。

2、激励自己、用行动和努力来证明自己不比别人差。
3、鼓舞自己、让自己时刻保持一颗上进的心。
4、磨练自己、让自己的心性保持平和。
5、完善自己、让自己尽量达到完美。
6、忘却自己、使自己心境平和。


亲爱的  你离开自己多久了


自从来到这个世界上

就被父母教导
要听话,才会有奶喝
要乖,才不会挨骂
要做的好,才会被赞扬


我成为了一个好人
我沾沾自喜
我彻底忘了自己是谁

可是

我还是会消极
我还是会失败
我还是会懒惰
我还是会悲伤
我还是会粗鲁
我还是会痛苦
我还是会阴暗
我依旧缺乏自信

于是我对抗自己的负面和阴暗
我以它们为耻
我把它们丢弃在某个看不见的角落


当我遗弃它们
我也遗弃了自己  
爱自己就要接受自己所有的一切!
没有好的,坏的,对的,错的,光明的,黑暗的,接受自己的一切!
一切都是那么的完美!


人的一生须练就两项本领:一是说话让人结缘,二是做事让人感动。“恶语伤人心,良言利于行”。

古人说:口能吐玫瑰,也能吐蒺藜。修炼口德,就是修炼自己的气场,一身正气才能好运多多。口德好才能运势好,运势好才能少走弯路,多些成就。

恶言不出口,苛言不留耳。这是我们应该具有的修养,有了这样的修养,你就能化腐朽为神奇,风生水起好运来。出言不慎,驷马难追。


不知而说,是不聪明;知而不说,是不忠实。君子言简而实,小人言杂而虚。


良药苦口利于病,忠言逆耳利于行。快乐之时说话,没信用的多;愤怒之时说话,失礼节的多。面责人之短,人虽不悦,未必深恨。背地言其短,令人不悦,怀恨甚深。不必说而说,是多说,多说易招怨;不当说而说,是瞎说,瞎说易惹祸。君子一言当百,小人多言取厌,虚言取薄,轻言取侮。对失意者,莫谈得意事;处得意日,莫忘失意时。喜闻过者,忠言日至;恶闻过者,谀言日增。


言不可轻说,若说话更改,不如不说;言不可轻诺,若应诺更改,不如不诺。所以一言半诺,俱宜谨慎为要。有道德、信义、智谋者,必不多言;惟小人、狂人、妄人者,必会多言。言不中理,不如不言,一言不中,千言无用。口舌祸之门,灭身之斧也。



最难得不是别人的拒绝与不理解,而是你愿不愿意为你的梦想而作出改变!


生活总是现实的,穷人用悬崖来自尽,富人用悬崖来蹦极,这就是穷人与富人的区别。

你受得了何种委屈,决定你能成为何种人。我是一切的根源,要改变一切,首先要改变自己。学习是改变自己的根本,你爱的是你自己,你爱的,你恨的,都是你自己。

你变了,一切都变了。你的世界是由你创造出来的,你的一切都是你创造出来的,你是阳光你的世界充满阳光,你是爱你就是生活在爱的氛围里,你是快乐你就在笑声里,同样的,你每天抱怨、挑剔、指责、怨恨,你就生活在地狱中。


伟大都是熬出来的,为什么用熬,因为普通人承受不了的委屈你得承受,普通人需要别人理解安慰鼓励,你没有,普通人用对抗消极指责来发泄情绪,但你必须看到爱和光,在任何事情上学会转化,消化,普通人需要一个肩膀在脆弱的时候靠一靠,而你就是别人依靠的肩膀。

面对失败,不要太计较,天将降大任于斯人也,必先苦其心志,劳其筋骨,饿起体肤……